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June 13, 2011
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(Contains: violence/gore)
Can't Handle It Myself

Life is too complicated, too unreal
Love, Life, School, Friends, Family, Feuds
Never simple, even in the beginning

Love wasted; Life squandered
School is hell, Friends only pretend to care
Family forces you to choose
Feuds force sides, unwanted

Love, Life, School, Friends:
Four things that are 'Good'
Most turn Dark

Family – supposed to be one,
Never stays right, Never whole,

Feuds sprout over bullshit.

I can't handle it myself
Overwhelmed, Underwater
Drowning in my own life

Lights fading
Darkness growing
Hope less, Life less

Grabbing at life,
Holding it with two fingers
Life slips out of reach
Oblivion sweeps over me

The flash of The Blade
The ooze of blood

Hell on Earth
Heaven Is Missing

Slow and Painful
Fast and Painless
Either won't help

I can't do this anymore

Friends can't help,
They only pretend

Only one voice
Can help me now.
Only to hear their voice,
My savior, My friend
Can't Mistake, Can't Forget

I only pretend to be happy
A mask eternally fixed on my face.

I Can't Handle This Myself
Life Unbearable, I run like a Robot

Dreams that will never come true
Haunting my waking hours

Never can dream of a better life,
Only Death and Despair
Poem, written years ago. Was going thru a bad time
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